Thursday, March 31, 2011
HUNG OUT WITH THE BATCH
I missed Batch'11 (':
It's been awhile since we've hung out together as a full batch. Didn't matter that we were under the hot annoying killer sun, or that I was dozing off every minute. Yayyy and C'div played super well today! The turnovers were like, perfect omg.
It's been awhile since we've hung out together as a full batch. Didn't matter that we were under the hot annoying killer sun, or that I was dozing off every minute. Yayyy and C'div played super well today! The turnovers were like, perfect omg.
Tomorrow's a holiday! Gonna sleep in finally. And catch up with some work that I haven't been doing/revising.
At least I finished my history PT! (: Gonna finish Math tomorrow, hopefully. Alright I'm gonna bathe, napped for 3 freaking hours when I got home haha am I a pig or a pig.
Oh 409 played Apr Fool's pranks on all our teachers today. I would say it's pretty much a success. I'm really starting to love 409, I always look forward to classes nowadays cos they're becoming so fun and funny (:
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
we'll never be as bright as we are now
Hi, I think you know who you are: I'm sorry for judging you )': I didn't think I was judging you, but I thought about it and realised anyone normal would interprete it that way. Sorry for jumping into conclusions so quickly and accusing you when you obviously expected me - of all people - to know better. ):
I hate it when I don't practice what I preach. This is a reminder:
- see that boy doing his homework in homeroom? … he couldn’t do it last night because he was too busy talking his best friend out of suicide.
- see that girl, with her face caked in make up? … she’s bullied, she needs to feel beautiful.
- see him, the one who wears long sleeves everyday? … he covers his arms to hide the scars.
- see her, with the cheap, hand-me-down clothes? … her family can’t afford food for half the month, let alone get brand names.
- see the girl who laughs and smiles at every little thing? … she cries herself to sleep every night.
- wonder why she never lets her friends over her house? … because she’s afraid they’ll see her dad passed out drunk on the floor, as always.
- see how that girl cringes as rape jokes? … she was raped.
- see the boy who everyone goes to for advice? … he wishes someone would do the same for him.
- see the girl who never brings a lunch? … she’s disgusted by her body.
- see her, with the little waist? … she goes to the bathroom and forces herself to throw up so that she can keep her waist that way.
- see the boy over there, see the dark circles under his eyes? … he has insomnia, he fears what he’ll see in his dreams.
- see the boy biting his nails? … he has cancer and he’s wondering how much time he has left.
- see your best friend? … she’s addicted to drugs, but she can’t tell you because you wont understand.
- see that boy reading all about 9/11? … his parents died on that day.
- see her, with her phone on her at all times? … she’s waiting for a call saying her sister was found after a kidnapping 4 years ago.
- see that girl, with her face caked in make up? … she’s bullied, she needs to feel beautiful.
- see him, the one who wears long sleeves everyday? … he covers his arms to hide the scars.
- see her, with the cheap, hand-me-down clothes? … her family can’t afford food for half the month, let alone get brand names.
- see the girl who laughs and smiles at every little thing? … she cries herself to sleep every night.
- wonder why she never lets her friends over her house? … because she’s afraid they’ll see her dad passed out drunk on the floor, as always.
- see how that girl cringes as rape jokes? … she was raped.
- see the boy who everyone goes to for advice? … he wishes someone would do the same for him.
- see the girl who never brings a lunch? … she’s disgusted by her body.
- see her, with the little waist? … she goes to the bathroom and forces herself to throw up so that she can keep her waist that way.
- see the boy over there, see the dark circles under his eyes? … he has insomnia, he fears what he’ll see in his dreams.
- see the boy biting his nails? … he has cancer and he’s wondering how much time he has left.
- see your best friend? … she’s addicted to drugs, but she can’t tell you because you wont understand.
- see that boy reading all about 9/11? … his parents died on that day.
- see her, with her phone on her at all times? … she’s waiting for a call saying her sister was found after a kidnapping 4 years ago.
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Thanks Jiamin for showing me (: [and Limin for showing her].
I love you guys (: Thanks for bringing me right back on track every time I'm sliding off.
I love you guys (: Thanks for bringing me right back on track every time I'm sliding off.
Monday, March 28, 2011
How do you tell the fine line between being fake and being nice/friendly?
I'm probably in no place to say this, but your words and your actions aren't consistent. I have no idea what you think of anymore and that scares me.
What if you hate me too but you're just acting nice to me? Asdafsjdklfjasdfasdflhsa.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Went to her page and saw this:
I feel like God just spoke to me through Evan('s tumblr, lolol). It's so overwhelming and applicable. I know He's been trying to reach to me through various means, especially friends around me.(':
Anyway it's Evan's birthday today. Don't know if she'll ever read this but:
Happy birthday once again, Evan!
Happy birthday once again, Evan!
I've never told you (probably am too shy to also) this but your resistance, your faith, your strength, your courage, your boldness, and most importantly your patience (towards us, especially) inspires me. I can't elaborate but I know you're trying really hard to make Raffles Netball the best place for us, and I appreciate your efforts because I don't know where we'll be if we didn't have you. May this year be awesome for you, my awesome captain ♥
meltdown
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I have a lot to talk about today, all of a sudden. But I guess I'll just focus on one topic first since I have to study. (You'll realise how ironic this sounds after you read the rest of the post.)
Studied with Shimei today after math tuition. We digressed a lot. But that's okay. We talked about life and then it got me thinking again.
Is this what I really want? To get into a good secondary school thinking that it'll set my life on the right track, only to freak out and worry about every single minute thing that happens. Then go to some prestigious JC only to stress out about keeping up with everyone else (much less to say do better than). And then get into a 'renowned' university, AND get a mental breakdown when I can't finish my research papers, before finally getting the job I want and having no time to enjoy/spend time with my family/have time for myself?
I don't think I know what I want anymore.
Everything only seems so good and perfect when you're able to see the appearance of it. I mean, getting into good schools, doing well, obtaining a career path that you always wanted - they all seem so desirable. Like you'll be happy being rich and accomplished. But then when you think deeper into it, you realise that there're a lot more sacrifices that you have to make, and you don't even know if it'll ultimately make you truly happy. (I don't mean just happy. I mean truly happy.)
We can find bliss in so many things - the simplest of things in fact.
Talking to friends, sitting on the balcony and staring out at the pretty sky, listening to some random happy song, eating your favourite food, talking to your favourite people etcetc.
I think they generate very, very different kind of 'happiness' from material accomplishments. These are the tangible things that you can never hold on to or understand, and always the ones taken for granted. I mean, if you could pick between a Ferrari and a bike (free), which genius would pick a bike, right?
I think they generate very, very different kind of 'happiness' from material accomplishments. These are the tangible things that you can never hold on to or understand, and always the ones taken for granted. I mean, if you could pick between a Ferrari and a bike (free), which genius would pick a bike, right?
(I don't even know if I'm making sense at all. Sometimes thoughts are formed in your head and you know what you're talking about, but when you want to pen them down, everything becomes hard to organise.)
Anyway we started talking about going to some sea/countryside in some peaceful nice country and buying a house and sitting around enjoying life without any stress or worries. I pictured it in my head and realised I want that a lot more actually. Maybe it's because of all the stress and pressure that I'm under right now that I feel like giving up on a lot of things and choose the easier way out. But really, it looks so much happier in my head, as compared to living in a huge house, having social status but freaking out about how to maintain your image.
Do I sound coherent?..... Yea whatever hahaha. I'm just really confused about what I want in life now. It's not even about my fear of failing in life anymore. I'm back at square one where I don't even know what I want )':
Simplicity vs sophistication? oooooooook.
On a lighter note, it rained today. Kay fine it didn't, it drizzled. But I love the rain (: It makes me calm and happy. And I love the smell of the rain. It reminds me of things and people whom I love (': Oh and I saw a rainbow too,
It's so pretty (:
Hope I'll get over this random fear thing once SAs are over.
And to those out there who feel absurdly stressed out like me, all the best to you, may you find the steps that you've been looking for (: ♥
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
tried to take a picture of love
SCHOOL. TODAY. WAS. UNBELIEVABLY. AWESOME (:
Despite the fact that my nose was so annoying I wanted to chop it off.
Ahh I'm really starting to like 409 a lot a lot more than last year (:
Ahh I'm really starting to like 409 a lot a lot more than last year (:
Lessons passed like super quickly ahhaha I guess cos I was listening and not dozing off/thinking of other stuff!
Pretty worried for SS paper next week ): Gonna mug myassoff.
Pretty worried for SS paper next week ): Gonna mug myassoff.
Was supposed to study with Minchih after school but sorry Minchih gotta come home and sleep to recover ASAP! Hope my bio notes helped a liiiiiitle (though they're shit HAHAHA wanna study aft school with me and Dawne on Friday? :) And sorry for making you lug your laptop all the way to school for nothing! (:
Tomorrow's gonna be a super short day. Gotta text Liza to tell her that I can only spend 15 minutes with her for lunch oh well. Thursday buddies (:
My blog posts are getting boring. I have nothing to blog about! Maybe because my germs are eating up all the interesting things in my brain.
ORR I'm a boring person in nature. NOOOOO D:
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maybe we're trying too hardTuesday, March 22, 2011
stop pretending
History PT tonight. Just gonna write the 100-word extract for Mr Mirza.
I'm praying I recover tomorrow. Not gonna happen but will pray for it anyway. School today was surprisingly alright, it passed faster than I ever thought it would. Kept thinking about things that I shouldn't think about but oh well ~ At least it's over.
Lets hope tomorrow's school will be just as bearable (: And that I'll concentrate better yes please please please
Btw Rebecca Black should srsly shut up omg. I never knew Saturday comes after Friday. Damn now I know :)
Btw Rebecca Black should srsly shut up omg. I never knew Saturday comes after Friday. Damn now I know :)
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you're eating up all my thoughts ):
It's getting kinda addictive and scary at the same time.
Monday, March 21, 2011
I close my eyes
You know, a week has passed but so much has happened. Not just to our lives la, but the world changed. ):
It's been over a week since the Japan earthquake/tsunami took place, and I guess the rest of us are still living our lives normally. I mean, the impact hasn't exactly hit us yet, and the only way I can think of to help them is pray/donate. Even then I don't even know if the money that we donate will even reach these victims eventually, it's still worth it :) (Yea sadly amidst all these calamities, there's still corruption and evil people wandering about trying to gain benefits from the suffering/extort them).
I guess when these kinda of things happens, God has a message for us. Either that or a huge challenge, to see how we will pull through together and help each other as one entity (mankind!!!:) I'm not sure what God wants to say, but there's definitely a lot of things to learn from this major tragedy. Was communicating with my Jap friends through email, they said their family's fine. Thank God thank God thank God (': I wouldn't have known what to do otherwise. We've been very close neighbours for 2 years and if anything happens to them.... D: Touch wood.
Recently the world's going crazy. There's like revolutions and uprisings and boycotts and riots happening everywhere. Was talking to someone the other day, he said a prophet said that God wants to punish us because we're straying to far away from Him? Idk I can't remember what that friend said! But maybe it's true we've sinned too much. Okay idk what's up with me today LOL.
But yup I just pray that Lord You'll continue to put your blessings over us even though we're sinners. Lord, let mercy be on us! Let the world recover :)
Amen amen amen.
Let's pray together for Japan and the rest of the world kay :)
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am sick. School sucked but it was pretty slack actually. I can't believe this i fall sick every freaking month!!! ahha hate my immune system ): On a happier note, I finished math pt indiv component and my group's getting an idea of what to do for the group component already. (first part, at least) So hopefully everything will go well :) Hope 409 does well for academics this year and bond better (:
Sunday, March 20, 2011
I have a feeling I'm gonna stop blogging so often again. Sometimes there's really nothing to talk about ):
I'm sick again sigh omg the last time I was sick was just a month ago! D: hate my stupid stupid stupid stupid immune system rawr.
Yknow a lot of things happened during this short week of holidays. It's like my busiest but funnest holiday ever :) Ahh. Okay my nose is killing me so is my throat i'll continue later.
But happening happening week :) I don't want it to end D:
Saturday, March 19, 2011
K I can't stand this. It's not meant to happen like that.
Why can't you just get over it? It's been AGES. -.-
Get over it and stop fcking my friend's life up please. Argh.
Friday, March 18, 2011
FEM pictures
he's jumping!!!
Yeaaaa the partayee ~
Alch, Brent, Brent's friend, Brent's friend
Minchih, Nicole, Me, Alch, David, Joseph
Training in the morning at Kallang! I woke up and puked. Slept too late yesterday + had a screwed up eating schedule. I ate lunch at 1 and dinner at 11! Oh my ghandi. Yea but decided to drag myself to training after all.
Went to Kallang Leisure Park afterwards for lunch. Some very interesting things happened ^^ Someone can't get over her eye-candy hehehehheehhe. Okay shan't say more or I'll be murdered.
Came home, was super tired and took a 3hour nap ): Now that I'm awake I shall go do my work and try to sleep by 12 tonight.
G6 and Rocketeer have been stuck in my head since the moment I woke up.
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There's a world out there that we should see
poppin' bottles in the ice, like a blizzard
FAR EAST MOVEMENT TODAY! With Nicole, Alch, Minchih, David, Joseph and Alch's brother's friends. They said Alch's brother and I look alike O: I don't think so but everyone else does -.- Anyway it wasn't as good as I had expected, but it was still fun :) The company was great!
Shall blog briefly about it since I have to go sleep asap cos there's training tomorrow. Can't wait to go for training, haven't train in almost a week :/
Stuff happened before FEM, super duper duper joke hehe will blog 'bout it tomorrow!
But FEM itself was alright. The concert was supposedly 3 hours long, but we totally got scammed. It was supposed to start at 7 right? Guess what we were doing at 7. Queueing to get in. Got in at around 8, then waited around and FEM itself only appeared at 9 plus! We were all like wtp when will the other DJs just leave we want FEM we want FEM!! hahaha but when they finally appeared, the mood completely changed. Everyone got damn high. That's what I call a successful band (y)
Plus, of course, Asian pride. Minchih went upstage to compete it was pretty cool! Winner gets a Blackberry Bold 9780 (cough hehe guess who already has one ^^) Hehe she was obviously the best dancer although she didn't win ): They had to take off the tops come on. Thank god she didn't or our friendship would've been over :P Good choice made there, bro. :)
Obviously G6 and Rocketeer were the best songs. Rocketeer was the finale hehe so we just left after that. Didn't stay for the after party though, were too tired and it was probably gonna be like a clubbing scene.
Went for supper at Macs with Alch, Brent (brother), MC, D and Joseph! Nicole went back school for her camp! Then I cabbed home with Alch and Brent.
OKAY I shall go sleep. Photos and more details up soon :) Alternatively you can go read Minchih's blog I'm sure she'd blog about it hehe.
OH AND I FOUND OUT THAT STEPH SIOW WAS ON THE SAME PLANE AS FEM. COOL STUFF 8)
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imyimyimyimyimyimyimyimyimyimy
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Look what you've done
Had a pretty good day today! :)
Watched The Adjustment Bureau. I'm lazy to talk about the plot but it got me thinking. I love all these shows that sets people thinking. Like instead of the kind where you go in, watch, have a good laugh but forget once you come out, movies like these actually keep you thinking about life.
Didn't go for training, which I feel really bad for. Sigh )': My dad said there's no point in going since I can't train then I'm like yea might as well sleep in :/ Sorry guys ): I know I'm being really irresponsible. I neeeeed to commit more. I need to. I must! I will. Okay yes note to self I can't just pon trainings as an when I feel like. It's irresponsible!!
Slept at 3am last night, I have no idea how I managed to wake up at 9 today but I did. My arm hurt like hell cos I was sleeping on my left side and I just took an injection there D: 3 more jabs to go btw! 2 cervix jabs and 1 hep A jab. Taking my cervix jab on saturday I think. Gosh I've never taken so many injections all together before. Proud of me I'm so brave hehehe. OMG WAIT I HAVE. When I was like 5 I had to take injections every day because I was very very sick. I have a lousy immune system )':
Yesterday's party was alright! But tomorrow's gonna be a blast :) Far East Movement yay I can't wait! Have no idea exactly what kinda concert it'll be though, so idk what to wear ): I hate having to decide on such things -.- Why can't we all wear the same thing everyday.
Studied at bishan library with Charlene today! Thank god I met her omg she gave me the inspiration for my lit story. It still sucks but it's tons better than the first one I wrote :D Super happy I finished it yay. My head's damn dizzy now I can't think straight.
Ran into A LOT of people today! Singapore's just too small sigh. I was kinda happy but it was kinda awkward to see some people but oh well :/ Ran into Minchih too hahahaa funny.
Had Pepper Lunch for dinner with her! (so ironic right)
Okay today's post is really lame so i shall skip to the movie part.
Okay today's post is really lame so i shall skip to the movie part.
Watched The Adjustment Bureau. I'm lazy to talk about the plot but it got me thinking. I love all these shows that sets people thinking. Like instead of the kind where you go in, watch, have a good laugh but forget once you come out, movies like these actually keep you thinking about life.
This one's about choices. I realised we can't keep being selfish because the choices we make will affect others around us, even if we don't think they do. It's like a ripple effect. If you choose to buy these apples, the farmer gets money. The dude selling the apples makes money too. They get to feed their families. Families happy. Cycle cycle cycle. Okay whatever I'm not even making any sense. Too tired ): Byee
Can't wait for tomorrow seeeeriouuzzly.
I've come to a realisation that I can't keep making bad choices and count on people to not judge me. It isn't just gonna happen like magic.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Am lazy to blog about today so I shall kope from Minchih's blog hehehe :) Will update more tomorrow or something.
So it's morning training at Kallang! I felt sickly. Like I couldn't breathe. I know I said I'll try not to use asthma as an excuse but today I was just breathless throughout the whole day and I got breathless from playing hamtam bola. Like seriously? -.- ):
-
Afterwards me and elaine were gonna go to Bishan to study immediately,
but we got sidetracked by F21 :X
Elaine bought a really nice dress! I didn't think it was nice at first but when she wore it it looked very nice!!
I would TOTALLY have bought this dress but DANG IT it's 55 bucks!
Which is nuts.Ok it's not nuts. But for the type of style it was, 55 bucks is nuts.
Took pics in the fitting room ^^ Duh. Here's the pic of the dress i wanted! The one elaine is wearing isn't the one she wanted!
We went on to New Look once we were done with F21 cos Elaine suddenly remembered that she had VOUCHERRRS!
But we found nothing :'(
Ok we found stuff but there were always little flaws sigggh.
Like some weird text or pic or pocket or whatever.
Here's a pic toooo!
(Me [elaine]: I'm lazy to download and reload the picture hehe I look bad in it anywayz hehe)
Rest of the day was just drama manz.
Went to the library, RAN INTO TINGFANG, SHAOWEI, LIMIN, LIZA AND JIAMIN!!
By chance! And Tingfang&Shaowei ran into the three musketeers by chance as well!!
SO COOOOOOL :D
OHOH hahah on the way to the library me and elaine ran into weexuan as well!
ZOMG what a day.
Rest of the day was just drama manz.
Went to the library, RAN INTO TINGFANG, SHAOWEI, LIMIN, LIZA AND JIAMIN!!
By chance! And Tingfang&Shaowei ran into the three musketeers by chance as well!!
SO COOOOOOL :D
OHOH hahah on the way to the library me and elaine ran into weexuan as well!
ZOMG what a day.
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Okay anyway I'm super relieved. Jap friends replied to say they were okay. But it was a very brief email, like they couldn't explain or something. Hope everything's alright, especially with the new baby and all ):
Hope the rest of Japan is alright too. You're in my prayers <3
Hope the rest of Japan is alright too. You're in my prayers <3
Sunday, March 13, 2011
it's a wish
Didn't tell you, but I missed you.
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Yup. I think happiness is most definitely contagious too.
Went out with Nicole and Huizhen afterwards! Nicole and I had to skip tuition hahaha we'll go on Tuesday :/ Haven't talked to zhen for a really long time! Huizhen if you're reading this: Thanks for the card! You're an awesomeee pretty friend, keep smiling and brightening the lives of those around you (: ♥
Love you girls :)
Watched Gnomeo and Juliet! Hahaha it's a really cute but lame show :/ I guess I'd only give it 2.5stars cos the plot wasn't that good but the characters were super duper cute. Plus I had good company. I love the frog hehehehehe :)
Studied at TCC afterwards! Drank red tea called Magic Garden omg it's damn good next time I go back I'll have that again :)
I'm really tired now. I just got home like 30 minutes ago there was this massive jam on the way back. I fell asleep on the bus as usual. Woke up and saw this really young woman with like 2 babies, maybe they're twins. They looked so naughty like screaming and shouting and wriggling non stop but the mom was just hugging (idk how to describe!) and looking at them lovingly. The power of loveeee :)
Mom told me that one of our family friends (the Japanese people) live in the affected area. Emailed and called them but no response/couldn't get through. I'm super duper worried now D: Help me pray that they're fine please please please )': Hope everyone else is fine too. We really shouldn't count on a calamity to make us realise how fortunate we are, sigh.
Lets count our blessings :)
Saturday, March 12, 2011
upside down
Eh I realised I have a lot of shit to say but I'm just gonna say them anyway cos otherwise I might just forget about this page of my life ):
I'm so thankful for the people I have around me. People who taught me how to love, people who taught me how to lighten up, people who taught me how to be serious, people who taught me how to be fierce, people who taught me how to be compassionate.
People who taught me how to how to live.
I wonder if all these people will change in the years to come. Maybe after we graduate, we won't even talk to each other anymore. But whether they do or not, I'll never forget the things they've taught me, the laughter they've added to my life and the colour they've filled in.
HAHAHAHAHAH that was so deep omg. I just feel the need to appreciate who we have around us. I mean what if one day (although quite impossible la but what if what if what if) some natural disaster or some meteorite hits Singapore and people... leave us. I wonder how my friends in Japan are doing. Not sure where they live, sent emails to them and they haven't replied yet. Ahhh I'm really worried. I hate how fragile life is. I'm not used to loss. I mean, there're different types of loss. Most of the time, the people we lose are still around us, just that we never get to talk to them or be friends with them like we were. But we know they're still around, moving on their lives just as we do, but it still hurts so much. Then there's the type of loss where you know that person will literally never be with you again. Can you imagine the multitude of hurt here? I don't even want to.
I'm afraid I'll lose more people than I already have. )':
Right now I'm going to do as much as I can to remember bits and pieces about the people around me and the things we did together.
Okay I'm ready to start on lit again :)
Baby scream and shout
I CAN'T THINK OF ANY CLIMAX.
Arghhhhhh sometimes I really wonder why I chose to take lit.
Kay brief post about today, will add on later.
Training today at RJ, was quite fun I supposed. Saw many seniors hahah sort of getting used to not having them around already.
Birthday lunch with Dawne at Pastamania! Jas and I pretended to go to the toilet but instead went to Icing Room and got her a black forest cake. I say our cake decorating skills ain't bad ^^ Waiting for photos to be up! hehe Minchih got her new DSLR (y)
Stupid Dawne already expected the cake, although Jas and I were damn convinced that we had ninja skills. ): Even Joy and some others didn't even know that we went to get the cake! Heheh Dawne ignorance is bliss you'd have a better surprise if you didn't expect it ^^
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAWNE! :) I love you as much as the 老鼠爱大米 :) I admit part of my sec 1 sucked cos I didn't know why we hated each other hehe. But izz okay I'm glad we're good friends now and I'm really thankful for all that you've done for me and the team! You're an awesome lim shit ehhehehehehe I don't get how weird you are sometimes but I guess you don't get why I'm so weird either ): I just read the message I sent to you this morning and realised it really didn't make a single bit of sense at all but the gist of it is I LUBB EUU anddddddddddd you're a lim piece of shit but I still be your yellow (Huang/黄) forever :) <-- kkayz this doesn't make sense either hehehe nevermind. Everyone left, then Dawne Minchih Tessa Roy and I went to hobo somewhere outside coffee bean (we sat on the empty ground between the MRT and coffee bean lol true hobo spirit (y) and talked about life. I'm quite surprised at how open they are with sharing things with us. I definitely didn't dare to talk to my seniors so openly! And they're super funny people ahha makes me want to go back to sec 2 sooooo badly. But after hearing what they had to say, I realised that my life wasn't as screwed up as I thought it was. We're just all going through the same teenage angst phase. I always thought I was the unlucky one having to deal with stupid situations over and over again, but then I realised everyone goes through the same typical stuff.
Maybe to different degrees and slightly different experiences, but eventually we all learn the same thing. GROW UP. Hahahhah nah we learnt to not live in the past, but forgive, forget and move on :)
I was so freaking childish in lower sec! Hahaha I don't even want to elaborate on the stupid stuff I did, so embarrassing )': But I'm so glad I grew up. It's like one day I finally woke up on the right side of the bed hehe ^^
I love how everyone's able to communicate so openly with each other about the past and bearing no grudges or whatever. Maybe when you grow up you become less selfish? I don't know, but whatever it is, it's a good change :) We all know the amount of damages misunderstandings can cause, and now we all know that we should clear things up before going against each other.
Okay my mac's running outta batt I'll continue laterr
Friday, March 11, 2011
hands over my head
Okay so I cooled down a little. I guess everyone's entitled to what they think. I can't stop what goes on in others' minds. But really I just wished sometimes people paid attention to what goes on in mine too.
Went out with 213 friends for Dawne's birthday lunch! hhaha we went to some jap restaurant omg it was freaking joke no one knew what chanpon is (in the end it was just some ramen thing with lots of veges and shrimps) so we made a joke out of it and laughed damn long. Everyone was like staring at us with no idea what we're laughing about. We were like drunk lolll. Then there was this dish called chicken ban ban HAHHAHAHHAHhahhahahhahah even now I'm still laughing omg but it was damn nice (y) don't judge a chicken by its name!!
Then we made Dawne go somewhere else so that we could prepare for her 'birthday cake'. Super fail. Stupid Akoo 'whispered' damn loudly and basically it was so obvious that she knew haha fail okay I'm just rambling on and not making sense.
Went to Settler's cafe and played board games. I freaking fell asleep ): Was so tired! When I woke up they were playing this super noisy game called Ugly Ugly. It's super fun! I joined in and lost la duh my eyes were half open. Then they made me and Rong do forfeit by doing the chicken dance in front of everyone omg the weird old men in the cafe were staring and one of them clapped like wtp. We had to do it so many times!! Reminded me of dare or double dare at ECP in sec 2. Dawne and I had to do a dare where we stood on oposite sides of the bike track and called each other and shout "where are you?? I'm here I don't see you!" into the phone.
This guy walked past and asked his friend "omg are they talking to each other?" omg haha joke.
Ahhh miss 213 ): So fun so fun hehe.
Hi Dawne if you see this: thanks for your cute little card it was reallyyyy sweet ♥ Love you girl you're an awesome batchie!
Met buxbitches at Cathay afterwards! :) Walked around in Gramophone. Cindy Wang's album is selling at $1. Funny. I was super tired so Ashley and I left early. Fell asleep on the bus and when she got off i leaned on some random stranger omg embarrassing I keep doing that!!!! >:(
K I'm just rambling a lot today. I have a lot of things on my mind; a lot of things to say to a lot of people but I can't get anything out. )':
Oh yea, and pray pray pray pray for Japan please ): Hope they'll pull through! Natural disasters are scary. I've got a few friends in Japan, praying that they're fine ):
Never believed that things happened for a reason,
but how this turned out, you moved all my doubts, so believe
that for you I'd do it all over again
I had an awesome but super tiring day today.
Will blog more about it later. Right now I just wanna say:
Whoever you are, I'm super sick of judgements and accusations, okay? If you even treat me as a friend at all then you won't be so selfish to INSULT ME ANONYMOUSLY. I can take it if you just send me a long message with vulgarities and whatever or call me and scream into the phone and tell me i suck and whatever for being dao, but I can't condone it if you're doing it anonymously. It's hypocritical.
Whoever you are, I'm super sick of judgements and accusations, okay? If you even treat me as a friend at all then you won't be so selfish to INSULT ME ANONYMOUSLY. I can take it if you just send me a long message with vulgarities and whatever or call me and scream into the phone and tell me i suck and whatever for being dao, but I can't condone it if you're doing it anonymously. It's hypocritical.
Anyway I thought about it, I probably am in the wrong for being dao and rude, and I'm sorry for that. It's just that sometimes (according to people like minchih lol!) I use too little smiley faces in my smses so people can't tell my tone. But seriously if I'm being dao just those few times, give me a break man I may just be really tired. And in my defence, my life doesn't 'serve to revolve around good friends only', for goodness sake. Everyone means a lot to me, perhaps just some more than others. I mean think about it. If you've had a friend who's been with you through thick and thin and shared all the horrible times with you and is close like siblings to you, would you love her/him more than your other friends? DON'T SAY NO. That's impossible. Unless you're God who loves everyone the same, that is beyond human capacities.
Oh and let me just ask you one question. If you really think that I don't treat you as a proper friend; if I had never done anything nice for you that deserves your friendship; if all that I had been was "rude and dao" then why is that part of you still holding on to this 'friendship'?
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Everytime i tried i get tongue tied
Holidays are coming! Party mood: full on. How to study like thattt. -
Went to school for Lit AA discussion, then went for lunch at Living Greens with Zara and Elisa! It's some vegan restaurant. Never thought I'd be able to survive a meal without meat or eggs etc but they have surprisingly good food! Plus the uncle was really kind he gave us this vege bun for freee and it was freaking nice (y)
Night training today! It was actually really fun hehe from 5-8. (Which means that totally screwed up my dinner timing actually. But thank god I had Jas to dine with! We went to soup spoon at ion hehe I loveeee soups omg. Am craving ciabatta bread and Moroccan spiced carrot soup from Cedele ):
I finished the 20 minutes run, but I'm totally not satisfied sigh. I stopped and slowed down like wtp that was unnecessary should've pushed myself harder ): Everyone else is training so hard I shouldn't be using asthma as a reason to slack!!! Ahhh okay next time I will try not to. Wanna make these last trainings goodddd.
I spent more than 70 bucks today omg. Talk about burning a hole in my pocket?
-
What I said about you tortures me. I know I'm being selfish and possessive but I just can't help feeling that way. I'm not being a good friend anddd guess I've only got 2 choices now. Confront you or accept you for who you are. Both are hard )': Your actions aren't making things much easier either. I'm just wondering when I'll be able to get used to the you now.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
time is standing still
asdjslajweoijkdln so cute.
the dream's beginning and the time rolls onToday was pretty boring so I don't have much to blog about actuall
Had one of those pretty rare (nowadays) night calls with Jiamin yesterday. Talking to her always opens up my mind and makes me notice the bigger picture. Hi Jiamin I know you'll be reading this so I love you girl you're an important part of my life although you're young and naive :')
Didn't go for chem LJ at Marina Barrage today because I was lazy. Hahah nah I had some horrible tummy ache like was it gastric or not I couldn't tell! But yeaa. So I went to the doc's and my parents decided to make me take the antiflu jab+ anti hep B jab at the same time. So now both my arms are sore D: But anywayz my medical report came and I'm super healthy!! Ahahha so I don't have to worry about diabetes or cancer or whatever anymore LOL. Oi don't laugh kay. Being paranoid about such stuffs is good. In a way.
Doctor asked me I have a boyfriend, I said no and she was like "Okay I introduce to you!" then my parents went crazy like seriously they started exclaiming "No she has to focus on studies she's too young blahblah" and I was like omg embarrassing................... She was just joking man. I think my parents are too overprotective sometimes but hehe they're still awesome.
Went home, napped for 3 hours, woke up, went to United Square to study with Minchih, talked about really excruciatingly annoying stuff, got over it a little, went for dinner alone at cedele cos that girl had to dine with family. (wow condensed action!)
Meaning, I dined alone outside for the first time. It didn't feel as bad as I thought it would be. Like eating food alone and examining the food. In fact I think the chicken tofu burger tasted better than normal. Maybe because I was able to appreciate it more when I'm paying more attention to eating than talking to a friend.
Hehe the moments of life you'll never notice till you're alone.
Can't wait for sunday to come! and March hols. Esp 17th March ahh gonna meet people I miss :) ♥
Oh and btw, planning to finally get rooted to a church soon. Should I go city harvest with shang or somewhere else? CH doesn't feel to homely actually ): Megalife's too far away though, though the RG cell is freaking awesome. Sigh choices. Lord tell me what to do? (:
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Some people run, but into the fire
Kay this post is going to sound rather emo for sure, but I assure you I'm not emo hahaha.
School started at 8 today cos of philo LJ, which is movie screening. I have no idea what the movie's called actually, but it's basically about this astronaut called Sam Bell who got cloned and basically his clones die after every 3 years (which is the end of the contract) and none of them know about the existence of each other, until the 2 in the movie were awakened. Uh sounds confusing. But it turned out to be quite a good movie. Except it scares me. What if we're all just clones? It's funny, the effects that movies like Inception, The Matrix and this one have on us.
O:
Went to lunch @ Marmalade Toast with Elisa and Zara afterwards, and went home immediately. I've never been home so early on a school day before O: Then I crashed and slept for 3 freaking hours omg you have no idea how tired I was. Stayed up trending #rafflesiansunite heheh. Aww the trend actually touched me a lot like how everyone complains like shit about Raffles but really deep down love it so much :)
I woke up and found tears in my eyes. Like my eyes were wet. I have no idea how that happened so I'm assuming I cried in my dreams. Which I can't seem to remember. Kinda creepy!
-
Guess it's time for me to admit the truth. I'm not myself around you guys at all. I keep telling myself that if I give it time, I'll open up. But I realised it's not about opening up, it's simply just the fact that I don't know how to be myself around you.
Monday, March 7, 2011
reblog from jas
It's like the end of a very very meaningful chapter of my life.
It's like the sense of loss you feel when you finish a good book/drama.
It's like trying to remember everything and keeping the memories in a safe corner.
It's like feeling we've all grown up, and I don't wanna.
It's like 10 important members of your life moved overseas.
It's like footsteps in the sand.
Yea batch'11, today marks the end of our zonals; our very last zonals. It's like a fairytale with a happy ending yay yay yay. Or maybe a folklore. Since they come with morals ^^
I love you guys sfm (:
I picked out your star
I love you batch'11, as deep as the oceans and wide as the sky
I could really feel my heart hammering against my chest, especially in the last few minutes of the last quarter omg.
IT WAS SO CLOSE. We finished off the original game with a tie, meaning omagawd everyone's just too pro. So we had the 10-minute tie breaker! THAT WAS NERVE BREAKING. FOR REAL. It's like 1-1, 2-2, 3-3 blahblah but thank god we managed to turn over 3 goals eventually and won by 3 points!!! (or was it two) I'm so proud of Raffles Netball :) I LOVE YOU B'DIV. AND BATCH. LET ME CONTINUE THIS LATER.
Oh and I'm also really touched by the number of people who wished us luck/congratulated us whether it was on Fb, twitter or SMS! :) Seriously so cool to know that so many people care :D
And although C'div came in second, in my eyes they're the strongest players ever. They didn't give up even though many players were much taller than them and even though the umpires (honestly....) sucked. GOOD JOB C'DIV YOU GUYS ARE TOO KEWL :') I think you're all pro-er than me hahahahhahaaha oopsies. Or more motivated, at the very least!
And although C'div came in second, in my eyes they're the strongest players ever. They didn't give up even though many players were much taller than them and even though the umpires (honestly....) sucked. GOOD JOB C'DIV YOU GUYS ARE TOO KEWL :') I think you're all pro-er than me hahahahhahaaha oopsies. Or more motivated, at the very least!
Omg watching our matches always make me feel motivated to fight hard for what I want.
Every single quarter - no wait every single second of the match was a demonstration of the Raffles Netball spirit (quote Ms Chng! :). Today's match was a great test of our mental strength, and I'm really really really glad that we managed remain steady and calm :)
I love how everyone on court fought so hard, and everyone on the sidelines cheered so hard too. It's like a freaking beautiful picture ahhahahahahah exaggerated but yes you get my point!! And I reallyyyy hope that those injured (esp Chin, Rachel, Sheryl etc etc) will recover soon to play for Nationals! :) Can't wait. (Ah I realise my post sounds like bullshit but whatever I'm too excited to bother phrasing anything properly.)
But wait technically... That also means batch'11 is closer to the end of our journey as official RNers. )': The thought makes me nauseas really. Where on earth am I gonna find another group of people as nice, fun, awesome, caring and simply awesome as RN! D:
I just wanna thank God for letting me get into Raffles Netball, and therefore allowing me to meet the most awesome group of people there could ever be in my RGS life. We may have batch/team problems, yes. But which team doesn't have their share of troubles? I know for a fact that no matter what happens, each and every one of you will always be there for each other, and that knowledge just makes me feel better all the time.
And right now, I just hope that whatever happens, we'll keep pushing each other on, and never assume anything :) We've been through rain and shine for 3 years already, so lets make our last the best :)
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Feeling so fly
Teeeheee yes we're all looking forward to FEM! Ahhh really can't wait (:
Okay so. My third post in the day LOL but I needa talk about this. On my way home, Dad was talking about reading some newspaper article on the 3 qualities Medical school interviewers are looking for in applicants: Compassion, commitment and something-else-that-didn't-exactly-start-with-a-c-so-i-forgot. Yupp anywayz my mind just wandered off to the humilty thing, and I realised,
Who am I to be judging anyone?
Especially those who expected me to understand them.
I thought about both of the incidents (those which I feel the worst about. Not saying others are not important) and I realised, if I really wanted to be a good friend to them, I wouldn't have been so quick to pass judgements on them.
"Love is patient, love is kind."
So now I must tell myself that whenever I say "I love you" to a friend, I must remember the implications that these 3 words carry with them. It's like a promise I'm making to be kind to them, and to accept them for who they are.
I tried to picture myself in each of their shoes (yea it was a 40 minutes car ride cos we had to drop my grandparents off so i had ample time) and I realised I could've been wrong about them. One of them simply didn't care about what others thought about her; she was just being herself. There's nothing wrong about that. The other just needed more love and care from her friends - someone I neglected, because I always thought she was the happy-go-lucky kind.
So right now my goal for this year is to not pass slap-dashed (heheheh i'm using this in the wrong context but whateverr good pun lol self praise sigh) judgements on anyone, because I have no right to. It'll be hard, but I think it's the basic respect I should have for others.
If I want others to not judge me, I shouldn't be judging them either. YUPP okay that shall be the message that pushes me on for this!!
Yay okay dear Lord I pray that I reach my goal for this year and that Raffles Netball is blessed tomorrow (and for ever and ever)
Amen
day ten
last day of challenge! one confession. uhhh i really don't know what to confess to haha you can ask me anything anything on formspring and i promise i'll answer the first question i receive properly. very lazy to think of something to confess to now!
run don't walk, the sky is falling
blogging from my phone now, blackberry is in serious need of better apps! haha. i love my bb, don't get me wrong but it does in some ways lose to the iphone! i hate not having apps for many things. why's the world such iphone slaves lol. oh and my blog's theme kinda screwed up! like there's weird stuff appearing on the bar where the time and date etc is supposed to be at. oh well. and my stats counter for total visits isn't working either! so whatever i'm just gonna delete it lol. (omgomgomg i just found out that as i'm sitting here and typing this a whole bottle of water just leaked onto the sofa ahhh i'm such a klutz)
anw, went for kidzread today. i'm inspired by how much commitment and passion people who're totally unrelated to those down syndrome patients can have for them. and the patients themselves pretty much inspire me too. they know that they're not the brightest bulbs around, and they don't let that affect them. it's rather the opposite - they commit all that they can into learning for betterment. and they're so happy just sitting there, listening to volunteers read to them and sitting around shouting/talking to each other. i guess that's the most simplistic but invaluable bliss anyone can ever have. they're not burdened by material desires, or insecurities of having to look good in front of others. their only goal seemed to be to get well and be happy. sometimes i wish i could be a lil like them, stay simple minded and happy :)
tomorrow is finally south zone finals! yayy. i can't wait really. fight hard raffles netball! come what may, we'll have travelled far down this bumby road together, so let's never look back :)
Saturday, March 5, 2011
day nine
Two Smilies that describe my life now!
☺ ✌
I complain a lot, but I know I'm more fortunate than many others. (':
;
baby please don't go
Burning every bridge that I cross
To find some beautiful place to get lost;
I'm watching Finding Nemo now. It's such a touching and cute show! :D I love how cute Nemo is, and how much his dad loves him. Also reminds me of younger dayyys. I was only a primary school kid when it was released? Hehe good times good times.
Founders day today! I honestly think school functions are more or less boring in general but this year's founder's day was relatively better than the previous years'! Also it's my last founder's day in RG ): I probably won't be cool enough to be invited back next time HAHAHHA. We have seriously cute alumni lolol they're like 50/60/70 plus but bustling with energy and singing and dancing omg cuteness overload hahahah.
The Guest of Honour was talking about how without humility, we'll easily judge others. I guess I'm not humble then ): I judge people easily, no matter how many times I keep reminding myself not to. It's like this instinctive thing? Like to see xx person do xxx thing then "omg she's so xxx zz". Yea it's a bad habit that I really really really needa work on! (Especially after what happened today. I feel so bad now.)
- btw, just received a text from Dinnie, it says: 'For I know the plans I have for you,', declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me hen you seek me with all your heart.' Jeremiah 29:11-13 If we're feeling lost or far away from God, God is near. We only need to call upon his name and be saved.
Aww I love Dinnie's timely bible versus! Yupp God has plans for each and every of us! I'm super excited for Monday's games, although I'm not playing but yeaaaa I'm wondering what kinda results our months of hardwork will churn out :) Plus, batch/division dinner after matches. Nothing to not look forward to! :D
-
Chinese compre passage that I was doing says: A hug can change a person's life. It sounds quite bullshit like wtf how the hell can a hug change a person's life. But really, it may not change a person's life, but it does change things. Whenever I'm sad I'll feel a lot better when someone gives me a hug or a pat or something. Ahh I love the people around who genuinely care. Makes me feel like I'm the luckiest person on earth. ♥
AND I WILL go for Kidzread tomorrow. WILL WILL WILL. If I don't, Alch Nicole and Minchih can all ask me to buy ice cream for them.
Kinda excited for tomorrow.
Kidzread, study, tuition, dinner. Yay! WHOLESOME LIFEEE ~
Friday, March 4, 2011
Day Eight
3 turn ons.
1) Smiles - Make my dayyy. Even when random people/people I don't know well/am scared of smile at me. Hehehe.
2) Funny things,
3) Nice people :)
I have a question for you! Do you think if you talk too much to someone, you'll run out of things to talk about?
Butterfly fly away
Watching an old couple share ice cream. So freaking cute haha. I'm craving chipotle fries.
-
Today: Left me speechless. I know this is 3 words. How am I supposed to put it together? Lol. Speechless me. Hahaha okay that works.
I keep trying to tell myself that things will be alright if I just accept it and move on, but as the days pass I find it harder and harder to commit myself into tolerating this. How am I supposed to respect you, when you look down on all of us?
-
Rgs symphonic band played a really really really nice piece during assembly today. It reminded me of Rome, churches, toy soldiers (haha I don't know why but they're cute and majestic at the same time, see), Cinderella, magic and Disney. Btw Disney and magic comes together. It's like no magic = no disney, no disney = no magic. I love Disney :) This sounds retarded but I was just closing my eyes and imagining myself lying on a pretty green field. I don't mind being an ant HAHAHA.
Went to shop with Juey and Sherby after school for birthday presents for various people. Haven't hung out with Sherby since last year! That poor girl is so stressed out by all her work and OM. All the way kay sherbz I'm here for you :))
I'm pretty proud of the presents we bought actually. (y) Although I swear my back almost broke while walking around haha my bag's too heavy! I need a new bag like badly. I want a plain red Eastpak! So sexy :) Okay I shall do up a wishlist for my birthday soon hehehe.
Oh yeaaa, I walked past 207 the other day, and some of them were hanging outside the class. One of them was like "Eh Elaine, why you never come visit us anymore! Forget us already ah!" And I was suddenly overwhelmed by guilt and happiness. Guilty because, well duh, I haven't been visiting. But happy because I'm so touched that they still remember 107 classics'10 :) It's been almost a year since we addressed them as their PSLs, and I miss those times where we'd just freak out about what to do for psl sessions because things never go according to proposals anyway. They're like one of the many many things/people that GMH :) I think having a sec 1 class like this, one will be enough. Omg I still have the little notes they wrote to me after I stupidly cried during one of the PSL sessions hahaha. On hindsight, that was really irresponsible of me. Could've scared them to madness. But oh well I miss the feeling of having people look up to me hehehehhe :P
-
Okay. I checked my stats, it says 3 views from America. This is really dumb and probably wishful thinking but the first thing that came to mind was, could you be reading this? It's been a while - to be exact 2 months - since we've talked, and to be honest I don't even dare to talk to you. I'm afraid to know your reaction, and I'm afraid to know that you haven't forgiven me. I wish I could turn back time and undo the very first choice that I've made that started this whole thing. If I hadn't been so impulsive, we could've still been friends now. That's almost 3 years of friendship destroyed by a decision made with too little thought. If you're reading this, I just want you to know that I'm sorry, sorry, and sorry with a cherry on top ): Sigh I know there's no way I can make it up to you, but I'm just praying that you're happier right now kay.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Day Seven
4 turn offs.
1) People who think super highly of themselves when.. There's just nothing really that high and mighty about them. Esp when they refuse to change when other people give constructive feedback.
2) cockroaches. E.w.
3) Uh. Attention seekers..?
4) Rotten bananas hahahhaHAHA idk why it just popped into my mindd.
Oh and let me share a quote I learnt in chinese class :)
"如果你曾经拥抱黎明，那么也请你拥抱黑夜"
Basically it just means to embrace your darkest times and overcome them, just like how you embrace your good days. I think that quote applies a lot of many people's lives now. Especially with all the stress from school and friends and family etcetc. But if there's a day without worries/stress/sadness, then we'll never know how to appreciate good things when they happen :)
1) People who think super highly of themselves when.. There's just nothing really that high and mighty about them. Esp when they refuse to change when other people give constructive feedback.
2) cockroaches. E.w.
3) Uh. Attention seekers..?
4) Rotten bananas hahahhaHAHA idk why it just popped into my mindd.
Oh and let me share a quote I learnt in chinese class :)
"如果你曾经拥抱黎明，那么也请你拥抱黑夜"
Basically it just means to embrace your darkest times and overcome them, just like how you embrace your good days. I think that quote applies a lot of many people's lives now. Especially with all the stress from school and friends and family etcetc. But if there's a day without worries/stress/sadness, then we'll never know how to appreciate good things when they happen :)
There's nothing wrong with loving who you are
Today: What the......
Yea. That's the only two words I can find to describe today. I don't know, it was just so pointless. Other than hanging out with netballers, which was nothing but fun in general, the rest of the day was pretty average I guess.
Ran 20 minutes during training! Hahaha omg I can't believe I didn't feel tired at all throughout the run, until the last part my lungs suddenly went crazy and it felt like they were gonna burst outta my ribcage O: But iz okay I'm still alive and kicking :)
Time really flies. Term one's usually the slowest term to pass, and yet it's already almost over. Like wtp! Term two will fly past even faster, and so on. ): Once March hols are over, there'll be exams every two weeks! There's freaking exams and NAPFA ON MY BIRTHDAY. I'm so unlucky this year rawrrr. Okay wait by the way my birthday's 28th April :)) Just sayin' ~~
Yea. That's the only two words I can find to describe today. I don't know, it was just so pointless. Other than hanging out with netballers, which was nothing but fun in general, the rest of the day was pretty average I guess.
Ran 20 minutes during training! Hahaha omg I can't believe I didn't feel tired at all throughout the run, until the last part my lungs suddenly went crazy and it felt like they were gonna burst outta my ribcage O: But iz okay I'm still alive and kicking :)
Time really flies. Term one's usually the slowest term to pass, and yet it's already almost over. Like wtp! Term two will fly past even faster, and so on. ): Once March hols are over, there'll be exams every two weeks! There's freaking exams and NAPFA ON MY BIRTHDAY. I'm so unlucky this year rawrrr. Okay wait by the way my birthday's 28th April :)) Just sayin' ~~
There're things to look forward to!
1. Next week: South Zone Netball Finals!! Both Raffles' C and B'div will be playing with CHIJ TPY! I really hope we get double champs (: It's really possible, everyone's so motivated nowadays and all. I'm just praying that on that day we won't make silly mistakes, and that it'll be an injury-free game. AND that Roy (and everyone else injured) will recover asap.
Actually, it doesn't matter that much whether we win or not (BUT OF COURSE winning's always a better option ^^). To me, we'll always be the best team anywayz :) The coolest, funnest, nicest and hippest ever! ♥ Hehe you know ethnocentric means a people who think their their race and culture is better than others right. I think if I had 10000094029343 more times to choose, I'd just choose to join RN 10000094029343 over (:
2. Far East Movement Concert in March hols!!! AHHHHHHHH FREAKING EXCITING. LIKE A G6. Enough said. :D
3. March hols itself. Time to catch up on my studies and everything! Hehe. And of course catch up with people whom I've missed out on ): Miss my friends so much needa go out more with them. I'm so preoccupied nowadays with work and i-don't-know-what-actually.
4. MY. FREAKING. BIRTHDAY. Oh. my. gosh.
-
Yea you're right, I hate how superficial this is. I hate that condescending attitude. But if we don't accept it, who will? Live and let live, we'll stay outta trouble this way. Lets keep going and just know that we'll be there for each other.
Yea you're right, I hate how superficial this is. I hate that condescending attitude. But if we don't accept it, who will? Live and let live, we'll stay outta trouble this way. Lets keep going and just know that we'll be there for each other.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
I had a freaking bad day. Hate it when the entire day goes fine but only to be spoilt at the end of the day. Kns.
I don't get why people keep lying to me. Do I really seem that gullible or naive? Or do I have a stupid face that makes you think that I'll take in anything you say? Fck la seriously. Hate this shit. You're supposed to be one of the people I can trust the most in this freaking world. Yet you lie to me all the damned time.
-
Recalling yesterday's 6 things you wished you never did: I regret doing things in moments of folly.
Damn I really hate myself for saying things that I can't take back. I wish I could just put down my pride sometimes and let go, but it's just so hard. I hate having to watch myself and everything I do/say in order to not hurt you, but end up doing exactly what I meant not to do.
[edit] Okay I just typed a whole long paragraph and deleted everything. What's the point? It's dumb how we both think we're out to get each other. My pride is too high, and I guess so is yours. You think that I'm not considering your feelings, and I think vice versa. You know how lame this is? I can't even find a word to describe this. I guess selfish genes do exist after all. Fully proven. Fuck today's just not my day.[/edit]
Knn I'm being a selfish childish bitch. Again. Just damn sick of this why can't things go back to the way they were last year.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
I'm not 'emo'. You can't tell that I'm pissed? Then too bad.
Day Six
5 people who mean a lot in no order of importance.
Other than God (who's not a person, right?) and my family, I really don't know. I guess most of my friends mean just as much to me. I can't really choose one, since I don't have a best friend! And I'll do the same for all of them :) Really tough choice hahahaha errrrrrrrr can I put number 5 as Friends! :)
Yes it's my post so I'll do what I want hehehehheehhe
Yes it's my post so I'll do what I want hehehehheehhe
1. God
2. Mom
3. Dad
4. Brother
5. Friendss
♥
Waiting on your curtain call
This girl too cute :)
-
Today: Super tiring.
I don't even know why I'm this tired, I slept reasonably early last night. Also ate a lot of sweet stuff that's supposed to give me sugar rush! Not make me more tired ): Maybe my body functions are screwed up.
Match against Cedar today. I think weak people shouldn't watch the game cos it can seriously cause heart attacks lolol. Both teams were good, but thank god we managed to clear them :) Proud of you Raffles! :D As usual, everyone played damn hard. Even though Malini's shooter was much taller than her she tried so hard and played well! Ahhh. I was thinking "omg cool we're batch 11 and it's 2011 now!" then I realised, duh we're batch 11 cos 2011's the year we're graduating. Sigh sigh sigh sigh. Shall make this season the best yet! :) Now we're one step closer to double champs for Zonals :D
Ran into many people today. The world is so small. Hehe. No wait. Singapore is. The world isn't.
-
Okay. I'm competitive, I hate being second. I hate it when people use me to get closer to someone else, even if they genuinely want to be friends with me at first. I know that's jealousy, but seriously it's annoying to the max. I guess I just have too high expectations of everything. The higher your expectations are, the harder you feel the hurt.
Oh well.
Gotta live with it eventually, I guess. Not everything works in my way.
-
Pop princess make me smile,
pop princess drive me wild,
pop princess I need you now
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