Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Dear Lord, I pray that
It takes so much more courage and strength that I thought would be required to get over things/people that you loved so dearly.
I know there's no way I'll forget everything, because memories are called memories for a reason. Images of the snippets of life that're etched away deeeeeeep into your brain; things you'll never ever forget. However happy the memories are, it hurts just as much to think that they're over. Hurts more to know that you could have prolonged the experience, but you never tried.
I know, the bible says to put our trust in Lord, and we shall be happy, for He will give us all the strength that we need to win the battle. But it's just so so so so so so so so hard ): But alright I'll try harder because God will not shortchange any of us. (:
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Then one day blew the winds of change
ICYL was the bomb. Will blog about it soon, since it's really late now and imma sleep early for training tomorrow.
Thought about some stuff today, and I realised pretty much nothing goes in your way. But more often than not, things are always eventually better. It's like how a magician magically 'unties' knots in a rope. Doesn't really matter how it happened, cos it happened anyway.
Stay optimistic, optimistic and optimistic. Keep smiling. Yea I can do this man
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
falling a thousand feet per second
I love the song Perfect by Hedley!
"When you're caught in a lie and you've got nothing to hide
When you've got nowhere to run and you've got nothing inside
It tears right through me, you thought that you knew me
You thought that you knew
.
I'm not perfect, but I keep trying."
I'm not perfect, but I keep trying."
Actually, maybe it's just me. But why would anyone want to be perfect? It'll get boring. Either that or pretty damn stressful. When you've got everything you want, and everything you want to be, it also means that you've got everything to lose. I'm not perfect, that's why I have so many things that I want that pushes me further on in life. So it's okay, I don't mind not being perfect (: yay me.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Okay. So the results are out, and it's not that great. But I'm prepared for it, and I totally expected that reasoning.
But thank God for giving me the courage to try something I'd never thought of trying (:
If you'll live to a hundred, I'll live to a hundred minus one day, so I'll never have to live without you.- Winnie the Pooh
Omg Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder are the cutest bffs I swear (:
Sunday, November 14, 2010
like paradise
-
Walked in the rain on my way home from a failed shopping trip @ Ion today. I know it sounds damn emo, but no it's like the opposite. I've never felt so happy before. I love the rain, it's so calming (:
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Voice of the truth
Today's an eventful day. Bought a dress, a bag, a skirt, and top. Whoo (: But I don't like the skirt so I'm gonna sell it/give it away. Depends.
Then I wentt to Huizhen's church, learnt so much again. Everyday I learn so many things (:
3 Lessons learnt today:
1. Praise the Lord when you win, and praise the Lord when you lose.
2. Choose the narrow way, cos that's the only path that leads us to our rewards.
3. American football is damn interesting!!
Friday, November 12, 2010
Baby you're a firework
So pretty (:-
I had nothing to do today, and Omg I thought SO much about my life today. Spent the entire day in fact. (Other than the times I spent sleeping and watching Vampire Diaries) I thought back on my year and the years before, and I can say that I matured a lot. Not just because I'm growing older, but also because of all the shit that has happened in these short but eventful years of my life in RGS. (Yeah, and I say RGS because I really don't remember so much shit happening in primary school. Or maybe i was just too childish to remember)
I learnt how to embrace fun times, success, and most importantly, friendships; I learnt how to deal with disappointments, rumours, betrayals, and failures. In the past, when failure is set before me, I'd definitely break down and take a long long time to get over it. Now, when I meet with failure, I'm still inevitably sad, but ultimately I know that whatever it is, it's part of God's plan for me. I realise it's really all these little disappointments and measurable failures that really help shape and strengthen us. I guess we really learn to see things from different angles when we're more experienced and matured. I admit that in lower sec, I was just some snobbish kid who thinks I'm high up above anyone else. That's one harsh confession to make, but yeah, I was someone like that. Maybe that's why I didn't enjoy my sec 1 year as much as everyone else, because I was so busy complaining about people that I failed to see how cool and sweet they are. (I'm not like that now though, seriously. hahahaha)
I suppose being in PSB and having a set of responsibilities really changed the way I see things. It started with all the heavy workload in REDOT, making me learn how important it is to manage my time well. Then it was orientation, when all the PSL session proposals had to be rushed out, and put together with school work, I was seriously just stressed. I still can't believe I broke down in front of my sec 1 class, just because they're probably just as unused to the idea of having new responsibilities as I was. But yeah, that was one incident that made me grow so much, for I really truly understood the meaning of "things don't happen the way you want all the time". And yes, I learnt to deal with that too, and despite my initial impression of sec 1s (I used to think sec 1s are weird and.... uncool), I realised that 107 is really just such a cute class, filled with many talented and awesome people. Basically, my journey as a PSL really helped me grow a lot, and as much as I thought I would be, I'm not ready to let PSB'10 behind. Wanyi said that sometimes, when there's really no second chance in life, and if you missed something, there's no way it's coming back to you. I don't know, I'd like to believe that there still is a second chance. But I know that whatever happens right now, it'll be another of God's plan to strengthen me, and I'll respect that.
But next time, when an opportunity comes knocking, I'll definitely grab it. Tight.
Oh and one last thing: I think God put all these shit in my life not only to help me grow, but also to help me realise who my (wonderful x10238012830129) true friends are. Do you have a friend who stuck by you no matter what; never judged you for all the shit that others said about you; never left you alone when you're sad, no matter how busy they are; never bears grudges against you, and supported you in whatever you do?
I do, and there's more than 1 (: ♥
-
Okay yeah if you read all that, I take my hat off to you man. It's just another of my extremely long, boring reflection-ranting thing, except it's all typed out from the bottom of my heart.
praying hard
This time, I'm not gonna walk away without knowing that I've given my best.
I know it may be late, but it's never too late to try to correct one of (possibly) the worst decisions that I've made during my 3 years in RGS.
I don't want to live my last year in regret!
Oh man, may Lord put His strength in me ):
Amen!!!!!!!
I know it's a 99.9% chance that it'll never happen, but I'm praying hard for that 0.1% to be me (:
I know it may be late, but it's never too late to try to correct one of (possibly) the worst decisions that I've made during my 3 years in RGS.
I don't want to live my last year in regret!
Oh man, may Lord put His strength in me ):
Amen!!!!!!!
I know it's a 99.9% chance that it'll never happen, but I'm praying hard for that 0.1% to be me (:
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Cos i'm Counting on a new beginning
There's so many feelings in me right now that I don't think I'd be able to say them all out but yeah. Today was a happy sad day. It was awesome, but in a sad way.
First it was netball farewell. We rushed out all our souvenirs for the sec 4s, and it was like a CCA effort instead of a batch effort in the end, because some juniors came and helped us out. Whoo all the netball juniors are awesome people seriously. We were quite worried that we'll screw things up because it was so last minute, but I'm glad it eventually turned out fine. Thank god for the artistic and nice and efficient people in Raffles Netball (:
It's official now, that the sec 4s have 'graduated' from Raffles Netball. I've really never met a bunch of seniors nicer and cuter than them. Think it'll be quite hard not having them around at first, because they're the people who really saw us grow from when we were little weird sec 1s till we're sec 3 now. It's like knowing them from day 1 of CCA, and now we won't be seeing them much anymore. I'll miss them so so so so so so much. Esp the fact that it'll be batch'11's turn next year.. Man.
Yup after that it was PSB nite. Quite tearful actually, but it was inevitable I guess. PSB's really filled with some super awesome people, the kind who'd genuinely care about you even though you didn't tell them you're troubled; the kind who'd go crazy and high and jump around with you even though you aren't really that close; and the kind who'd be ready to give you a hug anytime, even though you're all wet and stinky; the kind whom I've grown to love in just weeks. Man I'll miss them so so so so so much. May not think PSB is right for me next year, but I definitely don't regret being in PSB this year, because it really gave me the chance to learn so much more, and meet so many lovely people (and I seriously, seriously thank God for brining them into my life) Okay this is so sappy i cannot tear again >:(
K yeah, eventually will be fine, because tough people last, but tough things don't (: And I guess I'll just have to learn to deal with partings and farewells, because like Sab said, it's not about teary goodbyes, but a celebration of their new beginnings (: And like Steph said, think of all the happy memories, forget the sad ones.
First it was netball farewell. We rushed out all our souvenirs for the sec 4s, and it was like a CCA effort instead of a batch effort in the end, because some juniors came and helped us out. Whoo all the netball juniors are awesome people seriously. We were quite worried that we'll screw things up because it was so last minute, but I'm glad it eventually turned out fine. Thank god for the artistic and nice and efficient people in Raffles Netball (:
It's official now, that the sec 4s have 'graduated' from Raffles Netball. I've really never met a bunch of seniors nicer and cuter than them. Think it'll be quite hard not having them around at first, because they're the people who really saw us grow from when we were little weird sec 1s till we're sec 3 now. It's like knowing them from day 1 of CCA, and now we won't be seeing them much anymore. I'll miss them so so so so so so much. Esp the fact that it'll be batch'11's turn next year.. Man.
Yup after that it was PSB nite. Quite tearful actually, but it was inevitable I guess. PSB's really filled with some super awesome people, the kind who'd genuinely care about you even though you didn't tell them you're troubled; the kind who'd go crazy and high and jump around with you even though you aren't really that close; and the kind who'd be ready to give you a hug anytime, even though you're all wet and stinky; the kind whom I've grown to love in just weeks. Man I'll miss them so so so so so much. May not think PSB is right for me next year, but I definitely don't regret being in PSB this year, because it really gave me the chance to learn so much more, and meet so many lovely people (and I seriously, seriously thank God for brining them into my life) Okay this is so sappy i cannot tear again >:(
K yeah, eventually will be fine, because tough people last, but tough things don't (: And I guess I'll just have to learn to deal with partings and farewells, because like Sab said, it's not about teary goodbyes, but a celebration of their new beginnings (: And like Steph said, think of all the happy memories, forget the sad ones.
Monday, November 8, 2010
I want my childhood back!
I'm only me when I'm with you
Tomorrow is the last day of school.. I don't know how I feel about it actually. 1) I'm relieved that school is FINALLY ending (the boredom is like torturous) but 2) that just means I'm no longer sec 3. The next time I go back to school on a formal school day I'd be sec 4. And 3) I'll no longer be a PSL. Mixed feelings about that too. But will no
doubt miss psb and my classics to the maxxx so if you happen to see this (i know jiamin you're probably the only person who will but )
I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH (: Yeah no explanation needed, that line is enough to sum it up (:
Okay I'm lazy to blog already. and omg i wanna do this!!
especially not with that tone. even my mom doesn't do that
Sunday, November 7, 2010
who would've ever knew
"When you believe in something, believe it all the way, implicitly and unquestionably. " - Walt Disney
Hold on to that faith (: I love that guy seriously.
sick of playing this game
I love Ian Somerhalder so sexyy :D
Mom's birthday yesterday. I baked a cake for her and it actually succeeded on the first try omg! I think that'll be my only time though. Kinda surprised it turned out so well I thought it was gonna explode in the oven I'd be murdered lol. And I AM SO BORED. Seriously I've never meant this so much before but I. AM. SERIOUSLY. BORED. Anyone who asks me out now is my savior (((: No seriously. I have no more dramas to watch because I watch them too fast (yeah evidence of how bored i am!??!) and I keep refreshing the page every 10 minutes hoping that someone would magically upload a new episode but I guess our world just isn't very magical ):
I'm sitting around waiting for Jiamin to come to my house so that we can start making our stuffs for the spsls. Omg I'll miss them so much ): But it's okay next year it's my junior's turn to miss me like crap :D Shangxuan told me that someone said if you hate RGS, you'll love RJ. If you love RGS you'll hate RJ. I don't think i'll ever love both though -.- Seriously. JC? Mhmm appealing... NOT. RI(JC) just makes it worse.
Not going overseas this hols (yeah malaysia doesn't count) so I guess I'm stuck stoning for another 2 months!
Friday, November 5, 2010
Sometimes it's not enough
Never thought I'd actually step back into the land of blogging! But since I've got nothing to do I figured why not.
I spent like an hour reading my past posts, they were so filled with angst. Was my year really that angsty? ): I always hoped to live a school life of happiness and all, but I suppose this year's really been a crazy roller coaster ride man. Okay seeing my lack of regular updates (okay actually they're non-existent lol) I shall summarise my year in this post! O:
My class was... Idk actually. We're super cliquish, and honestly we're quite a problematic class? (sorry if you disagree!) But still I kinda love my class now (: got to talk to more people and realised that they're actually so cute and funny. I mean everyone's got their good and bad sides, and I used to be only able to see their bad side. Thank God I still have another year to get to know everyone better!
Results wise... I guess I did surprisingly well for EYAs! MYA GPA really sucked balls though, lol. But the point is i pulled my maths up from 2.8 to 4.0 :D:D:D whooo I love Mr Tan he's the best (tuition) teacher ever! I bet he was like some retired professor lor. But yeah overall I'm satisfied with my results. Hopefully I'll be able to maintain it next year!
The sec 4s had their farewell assembly yesterday. It hit me super hard yesterday that they've graduated, and now we're unofficially-officially the oldest people around in school. I never thought about how different that would be for us (our batch), but now I realise it's a whole new set of heavier responsibilities. It's like, when I first attended a sec4 farewell assembly when I was still a clueless sec 1, all I had in mind was "omg when is my turn coming I can't wait!" Time really flies, and yesterday I sat there watching my closest seniors walk past me down the aisle, and realise at the same time next year, I'll be the one walking down the amphitheatre, singing graduation songs and whatnot. ): I really don't wanna grow up, and as much as I dislike RGS sometimes, I seriously dread the idea of JC.. D: fml.
But anyhow, all the best to the graduated sec 4s in your future endeavors and have fun in jc!(try to at least hahahhahahahah) WE'LL MISS YOU LIKE CRAP. Esp RN Batch'10 ((:
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