destiny's calling

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I had nothing to do today, and Omg I thought SO much about my life today. Spent the entire day in fact. (Other than the times I spent sleeping and watching Vampire Diaries) I thought back on my year and the years before, and I can say that I matured a lot. Not just because I'm growing older, but also because of all the shit that has happened in these short but eventful years of my life in RGS. (Yeah, and I say RGS because I really don't remember so much shit happening in primary school. Or maybe i was just too childish to remember)

I learnt how to embrace fun times, success, and most importantly, friendships; I learnt how to deal with disappointments, rumours, betrayals, and failures. In the past, when failure is set before me, I'd definitely break down and take a long long time to get over it. Now, when I meet with failure, I'm still inevitably sad, but ultimately I know that whatever it is, it's part of God's plan for me. I realise it's really all these little disappointments and measurable failures that really help shape and strengthen us. I guess we really learn to see things from different angles when we're more experienced and matured. I admit that in lower sec, I was just some snobbish kid who thinks I'm high up above anyone else. That's one harsh confession to make, but yeah, I was someone like that. Maybe that's why I didn't enjoy my sec 1 year as much as everyone else, because I was so busy complaining about people that I failed to see how cool and sweet they are. (I'm not like that now though, seriously. hahahaha)

I suppose being in PSB and having a set of responsibilities really changed the way I see things. It started with all the heavy workload in REDOT, making me learn how important it is to manage my time well. Then it was orientation, when all the PSL session proposals had to be rushed out, and put together with school work, I was seriously just stressed. I still can't believe I broke down in front of my sec 1 class, just because they're probably just as unused to the idea of having new responsibilities as I was. But yeah, that was one incident that made me grow so much, for I really truly understood the meaning of "things don't happen the way you want all the time". And yes, I learnt to deal with that too, and despite my initial impression of sec 1s (I used to think sec 1s are weird and.... uncool), I realised that 107 is really just such a cute class, filled with many talented and awesome people. Basically, my journey as a PSL really helped me grow a lot, and as much as I thought I would be, I'm not ready to let PSB'10 behind. Wanyi said that sometimes, when there's really no second chance in life, and if you missed something, there's no way it's coming back to you. I don't know, I'd like to believe that there still is a second chance. But I know that whatever happens right now, it'll be another of God's plan to strengthen me, and I'll respect that.

But next time, when an opportunity comes knocking, I'll definitely grab it. Tight.

Oh and one last thing: I think God put all these shit in my life not only to help me grow, but also to help me realise who my (wonderful x10238012830129) true friends are. Do you have a friend who stuck by you no matter what; never judged you for all the shit that others said about you; never left you alone when you're sad, no matter how busy they are; never bears grudges against you, and supported you in whatever you do?

I do, and there's more than 1 (: ♥

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Okay yeah if you read all that, I take my hat off to you man. It's just another of my extremely long, boring reflection-ranting thing, except it's all typed out from the bottom of my heart.