Thursday, February 24, 2011
I can feel your heartbeat;
Okay, this is weird. I think sec 4 has been so far more enjoyable than sec 3 (if you ignore the fact that we had OBS and the fact that sec 3 = no graduation stress). Like other than the thought of graduating (i.e. moving on to jc like wtp scary shit), growing old, having to leave a legacy behind (or at least an impact. Like having people who actually remember you not because you look dumb in school or you're fat or ano or pretty or ugly or you're tall or you're short, but because you actually really DID something that struck a little something in them), I'm pretty much happier nowadays. Guess I just stopped caring so much for things that I shouldn't have allowed to bother me in the first place. I know, you think I'm just running away from the truth. But blocking it out is a good way to not let myself be affected, no? I mean in the end, who're the ones who're really gonna stick with you after 6 years have passed? Not that many.
I just really hope one day you'd at least let me know what you're really thinking about. You're so confusing.
I can't wait for season to reach its end, because that's when we know whether our goal of Double champs for both Zonals and Nationals can be achieved. (Btw, we're going to Nationals. It's such a relief, I was so worried that our batch would be the one to set history. In a bad way )': The whole game with IJ still feels surreal! But I'm glad it's over. So, so so so glad. It's not that bad to be cheering everyone on from the sidelines, cos watching them play with all their best only makes me want to train harder) But the end of season also means that our journey with Raffles Netball is almost reaching an end. The thought itself saddens me.
I can't imagine myself no longer being part of Raffles Netball, no longer going to sleep in the courts every morning, no longer training with my favourite group of people, no longer seeing them everyday, no longer.... so many things I can no longer do without them. I don't want to leaveeee )': Yeah sure, we'll promise ourselves to stay in contact, to come back and visit, to hang out every week, but will that really really happen? ): I'm pretty damn insecure about what's gonna happen
You think I'm crazy because it's too early to be talking about these stuff. BUT IT'S FREAKING WEEK 8 ALREADY. I thought it was only week 7 and when Jiamin told me I was literally ?!?!!!?!? Sec 4's gonna fly by before you can snap your fingers. K figuratively. But you know what I mean.
Saw some new sec 1s train today and watching them made me feel nostalgic. It seemed just awhile ago when I was them, scared of all my seniors and dying to prove myself to the world --that I'm not as loser as I seemed to be. Oh well, I was a stupid kid in sec 1, but it was good. When I look back on my past, I realised that I've learnt most from my sec 1 days. I met people at the end of the year who changed my life. People who made me realise that not everything's about appearance. What can be seen may fool the eye, but what's hidden could be the real beauty. And without those people, I don't even want to imagine what sort of annoying bitch I would be now. Thank God for bringing them into my life ♥
Okay I just wrote the above ^ half an hour ago. I've decided that I'll just treasure every minute I spend with RN and everything else will be fine (': It'll not be the end of us anytime soon, I will conquer my fears!! (:
-
Hold my hand if you're feeling scared,
we're flying up, up outta here
# posted by #.elaine` : 7:10 PM
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