Sunday, January 23, 2011
I feel like my world's crashing. seriously.
1) I'm sick. How can I fall sick, on the day RIGHT BEFORE Green Hornet's premiere? Oh God ):
2) I can't seem to manage to 'practice what I preach'. I keep telling people to be nice, but I'm not nice to everyone. Not even nice to people who deserve to be nice to. I'm like a hypocrite? Double faced? Yea whichever suits.
3) I thought about my life, and I realised it's so freaking hard to achieve what I want.
No wait, in the first place, do I really know what I want?
I know it's damn early to be ranting about all this shit but screw it man, time flies so quickly. Everytime I worry about something I keep giving the excuse that it's still a long way away and it's too early to think about it. But wham time flies. And reality bitch slaps you. Then you realise you have like what, a few days or a few weeks to make up your mind on something big? No, not fun at all.
So, uni's 3 years away. Never really hit me till a few days ago. THREE freaking years. I know I'm not even at JC but it scares me to know that I may never stand a chance to go to the course/uni that I want. Which means life will not be the way I planned it to be.
In the first place, do I really even want to be a doctor? Is it the passion or the incentives that are driving me towards that path?
My family doctor said that with no real passion or interest in medicine you'll never make it far as a doctor. Then I realise, without passion I can't even make it far in anything I do. Especially with my 3-minute attitude. I don't last for anything. Whether it's relationships or work or hobbies, my passion and interests don't last.
So what, that leads me back to my greatest fear in life. Failing life.
HOW AM I GONNA NOT FAIL LIFE?!?!?!?!??!
Kay by now you probably think i'm some paranoid crazy freak. Which I probably am. I think my flu bugs have been eating into my brain cells too. And my nerve system.
1) I'm sick. How can I fall sick, on the day RIGHT BEFORE Green Hornet's premiere? Oh God ):
2) I can't seem to manage to 'practice what I preach'. I keep telling people to be nice, but I'm not nice to everyone. Not even nice to people who deserve to be nice to. I'm like a hypocrite? Double faced? Yea whichever suits.
3) I thought about my life, and I realised it's so freaking hard to achieve what I want.
No wait, in the first place, do I really know what I want?
I know it's damn early to be ranting about all this shit but screw it man, time flies so quickly. Everytime I worry about something I keep giving the excuse that it's still a long way away and it's too early to think about it. But wham time flies. And reality bitch slaps you. Then you realise you have like what, a few days or a few weeks to make up your mind on something big? No, not fun at all.
So, uni's 3 years away. Never really hit me till a few days ago. THREE freaking years. I know I'm not even at JC but it scares me to know that I may never stand a chance to go to the course/uni that I want. Which means life will not be the way I planned it to be.
In the first place, do I really even want to be a doctor? Is it the passion or the incentives that are driving me towards that path?
My family doctor said that with no real passion or interest in medicine you'll never make it far as a doctor. Then I realise, without passion I can't even make it far in anything I do. Especially with my 3-minute attitude. I don't last for anything. Whether it's relationships or work or hobbies, my passion and interests don't last.
So what, that leads me back to my greatest fear in life. Failing life.
HOW AM I GONNA NOT FAIL LIFE?!?!?!?!??!
Kay by now you probably think i'm some paranoid crazy freak. Which I probably am. I think my flu bugs have been eating into my brain cells too. And my nerve system.
# posted by #.elaine` : 9:21 PM
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